I have a book hoarding problem, they're pretty much taking over my entire house. Sometimes, when I'm not drowning in uni work I manage to actually read them. And when I do finish them, I usually have some pretty strong feelings related to them and y'all are gonna hear about it.
You may see the occasional gif to give more accurate representation of my thoughts.
I have been waiting so long to tear this book to pieces. I am so excited to rage and bitch about how much I fucking hate this book it's a little scary. I'm a little worried about myself.
I never thought that I could possibly hate a book more than I hated Twilight but it turns out that I was wrong. Really really wrong. I need to organize this into parts so that I don't get completely carried away and rant about the most unimportant stuff.
Let's start off with the characters, shall we? This entire book is made up of stupid, shallow, judgmental people. I was one page into this book when I started reading it and Zoey was already judging someone and it was her best friend of all people! I don't even know why Kayla was mentioned in the first place, this girl is only relevant to the story two times and that's it. She serves absolutely no purpose.
Heath: Heath is a dumbass like you have never seen before. This boy has less brain cells than Bella Swan and that's saying something considering she's stupid as fuck. It's almost like Heath has never been introduced to the idea of logic and rational thinking. This boy keeps chasing Zoey even though she has made it perfectly clear that she has absolutely no interest in him. Heath doesn't seem to get the message.
Zoey: If you thought that there couldn't possibly be a character any more annoying and stupid than Bella Swan, you are sadly mistaken. Zoey is everything that you could possibly hate in a person. She judges people and she labels people without even knowing them. She just assumes what she wants about people and doesn't bother trying to get to know anyone. We're constantly preached to about each and every single thing in this book. It doesn't even matter what it is, Zoey's opinion is forced down our throat and we're just supposed to accept it.
She constantly uses the words "slut" and "ho," to describe everything. And like in most cases, the word is being used incorrectly.
A slut is defined as someone who sleeps around a lot but Zoey doesn't seem to know that because she uses the term to describe each and every single thing. You cannot go one single page without seeing the word slut or ho on it.
It's almost like the Cast duo is telling their readers that you need to be a nun and have absolutely no sexual desires in order to not be a slut. Oh, you wanna kiss a boy? Zoey thinks you're a ho! Oh you find someone attractive? Zoey says you're a slut.
I don't know what is up with Zoey. Who the hell died and made her God? She has absolutely no right to call someone a slut and shame them on the fact that their sex life is more active than hers. In fact, no one has that right. Why does everyone in this book care about who's sticking a penis inside of whom? I don't know about you guys but I would personally be more worried about the chances of someone catching an STD than having sex with lots of people.
And Zoey is just so random, she includes these random bits into the story that don't need to be there and are completely irrelevant.
This is how Zoey works:
If Zoey doesn't approve then it's wrong.
She's mean and inconsiderate. She starts picking on this kid named Elliot who has done absolutely nothing to her and she starts calling him annoying and stupid and lazy. She doesn't even know this boy and Zoey's already picking on him. In fact, when he started coughing up blood during their class because he was dying, Zoey actually got annoyed at Elliot for coughing so loudly in class and she wished that he would cough quietly.
She is by far the shallowest character that I have ever had the displeasure of reading about.
Everyone else Everyone else in this book worships the fucking ground that Zoey walks on. I have had to go through pages and pages of people telling Zoey how special she is because of her fucking mark. I am forced to listen to everyone go on about how powerful and so much better than Aphrodite she is. Everyone in this book goes on and on about being accepting of people and not judging someone but they are all constantly doing the exact opposite.
The only character that I ended up liking even a little bit was Aphrodite and she was the person that the reader's are supposed to hate.
The writing in this was horrible, I don't know where the Cast duo got their idea that teenagers talk like they're fucking morons. It was painful is what it was. You can barely go a sentence without the words "literally" "absolutely" and "completely" being mentioned a billion times. It was ridiculous. Speaking as a teenager, I have never heard anyone in my entire life speak like this before. The teenager talk would've been more accurate if there was loads more swearing because that is something that I witness every day.
The Cast duo also need a thesaurus. This is one of the big differences between them and Stephenie Meyer. While Stephenie Meyer downright abused her right to a thesaurus and used words that she wasn't supposed to, the Cast duo haven't even heard of a thesaurus. They use the same words over and over and over, at some point it gets to be repetitive. No one, and I mean no one, uses "hateful," and "hags from hell" as often as the characters in this book.
There needs to be less preaching in this. Seriously, there needs to be. I got tired of reading about everything that was wrong and that you would be a slut if you did do it. I was just tired, when I read a book, the very last thing that I want is to be preached at. If I wanted to be preached at, I would just piss off me my mom and listen to her shout about ungrateful kids who don't do any work.
The writing was so inconsistent. One minute it's LIKE OH MY GOSH DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS ABSOLUTELY TOTALLY AMAZING LIKE BAR. THEY LITERALLY HAVE LIKE LIGHTS IN THAT PLACE AND IT'S SO ABSOLUTELY PRETTY and then the next second we're reading something like this
"Get thee behind me, Satan!"
Not to mention that I felt like I was reading an essay. Sentences are started with "Then," "Also," and "Also in my opinion . . . " This isn't an essay, no one cares what your opinion is so please don't shoved it down the throat of the reader!
There was no plot, this story had no plot. In fact, this story shouldn't even exist. There was absolutely nothing going on. You could've cut about 75% of this book and absolutely nothing at all would have changed in it. We're not treated to anything interesting, instead what we get are detailed descriptions of clothes, bowel movements and we get to listen to Zoey slut-shame and talk about people with anorexia and bulimia as freaks.
The main problem with this book was Zoey, that was the problem. I was so enraged with this book that I had to actually stop reading at times. I got tired of Zoey's shit real fast. I almost started yelling profanities when I got to the part where Zoey started talking about girls starving themselves to look Paris Hilton chic.
Zoey talks as if anorexia is a choice, she treats it as if it's something that you can easily stop doing and that people use it as a way to get attention. That is not what anorexia is and it is so wrong for her to treat it that way. Anorexia affects millions of people, it's a serious issue and there are people out there that are actually fighting it and trying to become healthier. The very last thing that they need is a nice slap in the face from a useless piece of shit like this book.
The People of the Faith was just an insult to religion and shouldn't have been in there. In fact, there are so many things that shouldn't have been in this book.
And then there was the fact that Zoey kept treating Damien like he was a whole other species. Damien is gay, it's not that big of a deal, why does she keep going on and on about it? Just because he likes penises instead of vaginas doesn't mean that you have to write a fucking documentary on him.
I have never before in my entire life felt such hatred for a book before, and I mean never. I have never wanted to cause so much harm to a fictional character before ever. I am so glad that I didn't buy this book and instead borrowed it from the library, if you value your sanity, don't read this book.
This book just makes me: